Wednesday, 10 August 2011

When dressing down pays off

I’m not a snappy dresser. I’m not being falsely modest. If I could spend my life in pajamas, I would, but cow-patterned flannelette two-pieces don’t go down well in business meetings with banking/insurance clients (more’s the pity).

Fortunately for me, I live in a part of the world that fashion forgot. For instance, I recently bought a gold bra by mistake (it looked beige in the shop), and Johann immediately pointed out that I could wear it outside my clothes on my next visit to Malmesbury, and fit right in.

So today I was in Malmesbury, trotting around doing chores (among other things, trying to find a red bath mat – not, apparently, available in Malmesbury for love or money, which is a shame, since I’m going through a red phase), and dressed in my usual bag-lady Helena-Bonham-Carter throw-on-the-first-thing-my-hand-touches-in-the-wardrobe style – holey tracksuit pants, a questionable long-sleeved T-shirt and well-worn old takkies.

As I was rushing across a parking lot, a beggar stepped from the shadows. ‘Mêdêm, asseblief, mêdêm,’ he said (Missus, please, missus) – the standard South African precursor to a usually long (and, sadly, often true) story about his house burning down, a grievous bodily injury, dire poverty, and the need to hit me up for as many bucks as my conscience might compel. Just I was making moves to dig about in my bag, the beggar gave me a closer look and said, ‘Ag, nee, moenie worry nie, mêdêm, ek kan sien mêdêm het geen geld.’ (Oh, don’t worry, I can see missus has no money.)

The irony of this is that I was actually on my way to the bank to pick up my Amex gold card.

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5 comments:

Gretchen Bong Spoodle said...

LOL

Adesias said...

I wrote an enthusiastic comment, but it just got erased, so wtf???

Tracey said...

Ag no man!! And I'm so fond of a spot of enthusiasm. Sorry about that - please don't let it stop you leaving comments in the future (if you can).

Adesias said...

Well Tracey, I am French, and I wouldn't understand "ag no man" if my wife wasn't from SA. She's the one who pointed your blog to me, and I yet have to catch up with your posts.
So maybe later I'll leave comments and make sure they don't get buried, erased or teleported by the Net evil spirit...

Tracey said...

Adesias, I'm impressed that you've shown typically French style and flair in marrying a South African! I look forward to future comments...