Monday, 8 February 2010

Two instances of bizarre dog behaviour

Max is a Golden Retriever. Golden retrievers were originally bred as gundogs to retrieve shot waterfowl and thus have, apparently, an ‘instinctive love of water’ and ‘excellent swimming ability’ (according to Wikipedia).

Max would dearly love to live up to this reputation, but he’s too afraid to swim. He fell in the pool last week and although he panicked, once we’d shown him where the steps were and he’d got out and shaken himself all over everyone, his instincts clearly were aroused. He spent the next six hours hovering next to the pool, occasionally standing and staring nonchalantly away into the distance before quickly whipping his head around and glaring at the water in an accusatory fashion. But he just couldn’t work up the courage to actually get in.

I was out for five hours this evening. I had a stern word with the Monster before I left and explained that I didn’t want her, in my absence, to eat any lamps, uproot any potplants, dance on the table or disembowel any cushions. As is evident from this photograph, taken 10 minutes ago, she doesn’t understand English.

Incidentally, the Monster, who is a labrador/border collie mix, does swim – enthusiastically, many times a day; after which she rolls berserkly around in the sand to work up a nice layer of bodily mud before galloping inside and leaping dementedly all over my bed.

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