Tuesday, 15 September 2009

What would you ask your dog, if you could?

Imagine a genie hoists itself out of your beer bottle one night and says, 'You have five minutes in which to ask your dog ten things. Your dog will give you truthful answers, in your own language.'

This is the question I asked my 10-year-old daughter, as we were wedged in traffic on the way to fetch her brothers from school. I was fascinated by the selection of questions she wanted to ask our basset hound, Velvet (in pic, left) , and equally intrigued by the questions offered by my teen sons.

After much debate (which - hooray! - made the hour-long trek home whizz past) we came up with the following shortlist. In no particular order:

1. Can you converse with other dogs, and, if so, what do you talk about?
2. What is your real dog name, if you have one? And what are the names of the other dogs in the family?
3. Why do you poke your head out of the window when you travel in a car?
4. Do you really feel cross, anxious, sad, jealous or afraid, or am I just reading too much into your expression?
5. Do you have dreams, and what do you dream about?
6. Who is your favourite in our human family, and why?
7. What's the pecking order in this house? In other words, who is the top dog, and who is the top human?
8. Do you have any complaints, or something you'd like to tell me?
9. Would it be possible for you to not poop in the house?
10. Why do you love me?

Other suggestions received, but rejected as being too obvious, or too difficult to answer, included:

- Where do you like to be scratched?
- What on earth is so appealing about sniffing other dogs' bottoms?
- Why do you howl and whine when you can't come inside?
- What does it feel like to be a dog?
- Why don't you listen when I tell you something?
- What do humans smell like?

So, what would you ask your dog? Or your cat? And what would you tell your pet, if a genie gave you the opportunity?

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Yor Nesot said...

You appear to be very upset every morning – do you think I will die during the day?
You are so happy when I return home – do you think I’ve been resurrected, again?

viki said...

I would ask my dog why on earth she starts licking herself at 3a.m.

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