Sunday, 30 August 2009

Wonderful women

One of the things I miss profoundly in my life is good girlfriends. With the exception of Maxi’s Mom (T), my closest female friends live in other cities or provinces or countries, and I seldom see them, and although we are always in contact via email and phone, I really feel the lack of personal connection.

Entirely by chance, I’ve had the amazing good fortune over the last two weeks to have spent a lot of social time with women, and I’ve just been blown away by how damned awesome they are. From the gorgeous youngster (forced to grow up quickly, beautifully brittle, dedicated student) to the hippie wild-child (photographer, cancer survivor, brave heart), from the queen of tarts (consummate baker, searcher and now finder of love, courageous businesswoman) to the business wizard (gentle wife, electronic angel, kindly leveller), from the whip-snap nurse (good-humoured mate, skinny seeker at what she thinks is a ripe old age of bigger boobs, sense-of-humour sizzler) to the branding supremo (gardener, party-girl, golfer par excellence) – all have totally wowed me.

All but one of these women have children; many are single mothers. I’ve loved – LOVED! – comparing experiences with them, and laughing with them in the face of what is actually frequently unkind reality. In the case of the single mothers, it’s all too often absent or unsupportive fathers - it can’t be coincidence that in all cases there’s a lack of financial and/or emotional input; but just sharing the load between women (even when it’s only spoken) really does help. And whether they have partners or not, it’s just been a blast talking about our kids – finding all they say and do sometimes worrying, often funny, always fascinating.

With women, it’s possible to talk long and deeply about Relationships – with our children, our siblings, our friends, our lovers, our parents. There may not be enough time available to go into every aspect of all of them, so instead we skip from topic to topic. Nobody minds. One of the things I really love about women is how they’re so eminently capable of segueing seamlessly in and out, backwards and forwards, up and down. No conversation can possibly become too convoluted. Women never lose the thread.

I’ve been newly astonished by how vulnerable and valiant women are: they will admit their failings and openly ask for advice; and they will genuinely consider what is offered. They listen carefully while I blurt my own many imperfections, and suggest solutions seriously thought about and tailor-made for me.

I adore my male friends – they make my world turn – but it has been a real privilege to spend so much time recently with women. I’m hoping it will happen more often in the future.

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tonypark said...

Yes, I like chicks too.

ali g said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ali g said...

wonderful creatures..should be more of them..took one to the cricket once

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