Wednesday, 1 April 2009

‘Too drunk to say no’ spoils it for the rest of us

There was a story in the Sunday Times last weekend about a 44-year-old UK woman (an attorney, nogal) who had sex with a 26-year-old man (a chef) and then accused him of rape because, having consumed ‘about three bottles of wine’ and become so intoxicated that she ‘could not remember anything’, she deemed herself too drunk to have consented.

I was particularly interested in the fact that, despite her hopeless inebriation, she’d been able to walk upstairs (to her bedroom) unaided, help the youngster remove her clothes and ‘perform a sex act’ on him. (I just love that phraseology: ‘perform a sex act’ – doesn’t it make you think of trapeze artists?)

Women – and by that I mean me – have fought long and hard for the right to have one-night stands in as willy-nilly a fashion as men. (And that doesn’t mean I do have one-night stands willy-nilly; it just means I can if I want to.) And then along comes this 44-year-old attorney who drinks herself blind, invites a relatively attractive (judging by his pic) young chef back to her place and has sex with him – and then, for reasons that are not explained, shouts ‘rape’.

Peter Bacon – for that is the young man’s name – told the press, ‘I was aiming to try to get a one-night stand legitimately and then have breakfast in the morning and go our separate ways.’

There are many things about that that appeal to me. ‘Legitimately’, for one. Peter, well over the age of consent, was invited to the woman’s house; she (ditto re age/consent) flirted with him; the only other person present left, but the woman didn’t ask Peter to follow suit; they began kissing; then they had sex. Sounds perfectly legitimate to me.

‘Have breakfast in the morning’ I also like. This wasn’t a man who was going to grab a quick shag and then escape, furtive and ashamed, under cover of darkness. A slap-up breakfast shared by two party people (who may or may not have had drunken sex the night before) is a well-known and long-respected hangover stopgap. Lasting and/or interesting bonds have been forged over this singular meal consumed in this singular mindset.

Interestingly, the unnamed (why? and please don’t tell me it’s because she’s a woman) 44-year-old attorney admitted to being a ‘recreational binge drinker’. This would lead me to assume that drinking enough wine to eradicate her memory wasn’t an experience that was entirely foreign to her. If I were Peter, I’d be asking myself how often she’d done this circus-act before; and I’d be deeply regretting not using a condom.

I’ve always been irritated by people who commit acts of wanton selfishness, destruction, stupidity or cruelty and then claim diminished responsibility by dint of drunkenness. When you neck a bottle or three of wine, you know what you’re letting yourself in for – and that goes especially for ‘recreational binge drinkers’ (self-confessed or otherwise).

If you can’t take the heat, as the old saying goes, stay out of the kitchen. And if you can’t take the consequences, stay off the bottle. That way, you won’t scare away attractive youngsters who might otherwise want to have legitimate one-night stands with us 44-year-olds – and make us breakfast in the morning.

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ali g said...

Am at that stage in life where neck 1 to 3 bottles at night them fall asleep.
Have been getting my sweet lady breakfast in bed for the last 20 years or so as an apology for nodding off.
don't know about that other stuff...

Trev said...

The forty four year old "recreational binge drinking' woman who's too drunk to say no is OK by me.
I actally find the 44 year old "recreational binge drinking" woman too drunk to say yes rather more annoying....