Monday, 6 April 2009

Problem is, it just could be true

The National Skirt Extension Project will doubtless soon reveal itself to be a horrendously expensive marketing ploy.

But it’s also served to highlight what dwang ordinary South Africans are really in: given the nonsense we live with every day, it’s becoming very hard to identify irony.

When I first saw the half-page ad for the National Skirt Extension Project in the Sunday Times, I turned the page, automatically dismissing it as a marketing exercise. But after I’d read Andrew Donaldson’s column in the same issue, I turned back to the ad and read it more closely.

In his column, Andrew quoted extensively from an article that appeared in the UK’s Daily Mail last week: ‘Imagine how you would react if Gordon Brown opened and closed his election rallies by bursting into a song called ‘‘Bring Me My Machine Gun’’, swaying and jigging to the hypnotic chorus of this menacing ditty. And how would you feel if the Prime Minister were alleged to be taking campaign money from Colonel Gaddafi; faced 783 counts of fraud, racketeering, tax evasion and corruption which somehow never came to court; and had been acquitted of rape while his fearsome supporters mobbed the courthouse?’

Given that that’s all true, I had to wonder if the ad urging ‘all South Africans’ to replace ‘non-compliant Ladies' Toilet signs’ with one bearing a longer skirt might be genuine.

Of course not! But wait… our president-to-be, writes the Daily Mail’s Peter Hitchens, has ‘at least four wives and 18 children’; asked about how he would cope with the First Lady issue, he said, ‘There is no First Lady. If there is an occasion, one day we will have the wife we are with, another day we will have another one.’ He once spoke of how he would knock down any ‘pansy boy’ and has denounced same-sex marriage as a ‘disgrace to the nation’; he ‘has hinted he might restore the death penalty; he is keen on traditional medicine men; he thinks teenage unwed mothers should have their babies taken away, that school prayers should be compulsory and that there is too much sex on TV’.

You’ve got to wonder, really, which scenario is more ridiculous: Jacob Zuma being our next President, or restaurant owners being compelled by law to change their ‘Ladies’ Toilet’ signs.

* Chris McEvoy writes about this here.

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3 comments:

BecauseIcan said...

We should design proper signs.. so that there can be no confusion.. A vagina for the girls and penis for the boys.. and on the side there is an option to dress it up anyway they want to.. that should keep the retards busy..

Muriel said...

Quite right. Why not call a spade a spade? But then, would we also have a length issue with the penises? I suppose the retards could always busy themselves with standardising THAT then.

Muriel said...

I'm just so damned annoyed that Mrs Ball's chutney is part of this too-clever-by-half campaign. It's put me off ever buying another jar.