Friday, 21 September 2007

Pointless Kiwi tixidermist joke

It's a bit of pressure having a blog, isn't it? You lose interest for a week or two because you've got nothing to say (or perhaps you're just too preoccupied with other stuff to pen a witty or outraged post), and then guilt creeps in.

Is it lazy and sluttish to post something only once a fortnight? Should you wait until inspiration strikes, until you have something pertinent to say, or should you write any old crap and post for the sake of posting? I have to say I prefer the latter option: I'm really bored reading plod-along blogs that record every crushingly dull detail of their writers' lives. Mommy blogs are really grating me at the moment: maybe I'm just getting old and interesting (hah!), but, honestly, does cyberspace need more pictures of four-year-olds in Spiderman suits? And how interested am I, really, in whose toddler isn't sleeping through the night? (OK, I admit, I found my children's behaviour/health/emotional issues hugely interesting when they were small, but not so riveting that I wanted to write 2000 words about them every day).

Thank goodness for Salmagundi's co-author, the terrible Muriel, whose wonderful musings - check out the Spider Bobby one - keep this blog's eyebrows above the water.

Having said all that, this is an entirely pointless and gratuitous post, written for the purpose of 1) assuaging my guilt, and 2) writing something - anything.

Are you still reading? I'm sitting back in my chair, scratching my head, and wondering what to write. I could give you a list of the top ten hundred things that have annoyed me this week, or a little rant about the taxi driver who deliberately tried to side-swipe my car this week because I had the temerity not to shoot a red traffic light, or an impassioned diatribe about how freedom of the press in South Africa is being eroded. Yes? No?

Ok.... how about a joke?

A bloke walks into a bar in New Zealand and orders a shandy. All the Kiwis sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see another Australian visitor.

The barman says, "You aren't from around here, are ya?"

The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada."

The bartender says, "What do you do in Canada?"

The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender says, "A tixidermist? What the hick is a tixidermist? Do you drive a tixi?'

"No, a taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi. I mount animals."

The bartender grins and yells, "He's okay boys. He's one of us".

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5 comments:

meggie said...

OK Juno, I am a Kiwi!
Enjoyed your post anyway!

Juno said...

Oops, sorry Meggie! *Blush*.

Audrey said...

I definitely need a Muriel, but I think they only made one and you’ve got her :-)
I keep wanting to ask her about the spiders in my house but can’t describe them properly because I can’t even bring myself to look at them with my eyes open. I think she’s terribly brave and should start a Spiders 101 blog with pics and stuff. Like the birdchick with her bees - http://www.birdchick.com/2007/09/rolling-bees-in-powdered-sugar.html

Writing for the sake of writing? It’s an old tradition, why mess with it?

Glad to know I’ve got company here in the blogging doldrums. I think maybe it’s a test of mettle… sort of the seven year itch of cyberspace, only it’s every three months. Bloggers Block. You think - I know, I’ll write about xyz and then you think, no nobody wants to know that or no, they all know that already. But then you see something similar in the papers a month later and think, I really should have blogged that. I think this is a very now sort of existential angst and we ought to feel quite happening because of it.

:-)

angel said...

aaaaargh... you can't like mommy-blogs anymore!?! i'll have to start writing something interesting to get you to stop by occasionally then, eh?
i tend to gooi in a blogthing or a cartoon when i'm in the doldrums...

Juno said...

Oops,sorry Angel. If it helps, I wasn't referring to your blog. I will make it my mission to stop by more often.