Tuesday, 19 June 2007

Plea to our Lady of Benoni

Dear Our Lady of Benoni: I know you're very busy channelling yourself through Ms Zackey, 17, of Benoni, and encouraging her to tell her followers to stare into the sun and burn their retinas to a crisp, but could I bother you for a small intervention?

If it's not too much trouble?

We have, in South Africa, a number of poverty-stricken people living in dire circumstances. A good proportion of them are small children who go to bed with empty tummies every night and who live in very bitter circumstances. I don't want to distress Your Blessedness in any way, but it might not have come to your attention that many of these children are orphans, due to a terrible plague that your Father has inflicted on them and their parents.

No doubt they (like their depraved homosexual brothers) fully invited this on themselves and that they richly deserve this punishment (after all, their ancestress, one 'Eve', evilly took an illicit bite out of a piece of fruit), but any chance you could cut them a bit of slack?

The occasional loaf of bread and bit of roast chicken would be much appreciated. Oh, and a blanket, if you can spare one.

Yours,

Juno.

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3 comments:

Muriel said...

Even a biscuit wouldn't go amiss. And you could always engrave your image on it. Bakers do it all the time.

Juno said...

Yup... depressing, isn't it, Mur?

angel said...

oooh... roast chicken!!! yes please...