Monday, 23 April 2007

Muriel: Do you smoke through a hangover?

The latest email from my dear Muriel (don't kill me for posting this Mur, but it's a good question):

Have to travel ALL THE WAY to town tomorrow fetch my mad gay friend Brad (who looks and acts like Freddy Mercury in his prime) because I didn’t do it on Friday, because he had a self-confessed unmanageable hangover. I know those too well to think that I could get the best out of someone I see only every seven years or so.

But tomorrow apparently I will have one myself. Knowing that I might not manage, I actually phoned the village's Parcel Post emergency line tonight and asked if they fetch and deliver people. There was a heavy silence on the line, then the person said, ‘Um. Are you joking?’

‘No,’ I said.

‘Um. Well, okay. But it will cost you.’

‘How much?’

‘Three hundred rand.’

‘You must be fucking joking!' I screamed. 'What you are, Wells Fargo?’

‘Wells what?’ he asked.

I can’t bear talking to people born after 1970.

Re Brad's hangover, he said, on Friday, ‘Don’t worry, I’m smoking my way through it.’

I am much in mind of smoking at the moment since I am on cigarette #1479. I have literally not drawn a non-nicotine breath since 11 am. I fully expect to die from emphysema within the next few days. Still, I can’t imagine how anyone can smoke through a hangover. I am always so thoroughly poisoned that even drawing God’s blue air is painful. (Post this question on your blog, please: do you smoke through a hangover, and if so, how?)

Comments, anyone?

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